Title

pinchi:

You know when you clean your face really well and exfoliate and stuff and your face feels ten pounds lighter and clean and kind of raw, that’s how I want my heart to feel

surprisebitch:

YAS ARIANA

dormirblonde:

i want more roadtrips this year. more time spent at the ocean. more trips hiking up mountains. more time falling in love with the earth, and laughing with people that make me feel at home.

averagefairy:

i love when dudes are like “of course i respect women, i have a sister and a niece” like what does that even mean. there isn’t a person on this planet who isn’t related to a woman like what is Your Point

orange-plum:

imtotallystoked:

orange-plum:

I was at the store today looking at lemonade and this old guy comes up to me, and initially I was expecting him to be a creep, but then he was like

“You look like someone who would appreciate this. Why do cows have hooves and not feet?” and I didn’t know, so he said “Because they lack toes (lactose)”

And I couldn’t help but laugh, and so he’s like “Hey if I can make someone laugh it’s worth it. What do you call a bear with no teeth?” and I slapped his arm and was like “A gummy bear!”

Then he asked “Why did the cowboy go to the petstore to buy a doxon terrier?” so I said I didn’t know and he was like “He wanted to get a long lil doggie.”

I told him I was gonna go home and tell my dad these jokes cuz he likes this kinda stuff, so before he left he started pulling out his wallet and was like “Hold on, I’m going to show you my pride and joy. I never get to and I show it off every chance I get.”

I assumed it was going to be his grandkids or something, but then he hands me this piece of paper that was cut out of an add for some kind of soda and it just says “Pride and Joy” on it.

The dude was super funny, so that was a good high light of my day. When we said goodbye I glanced down and saw he was holding a bottle of straight vodka. 

I think I just met Grunkle Stan.

Hey we don’t live anywhere near each other but a few weeks ago I had a VERY similar experience??? An old guy came into my work place, thought he was gonna be a creep, but he just started telling me jokes (different ones than yours, but I can’t remember them) and then SHOWED ME HIS PRIDE AND JOY. I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE A DOG (work at a pet store). Like is there just some national old man club where they make plans to go brighten people’s days???

#maybe it’s a cryptid#drawn to you when you’re down?#idk man

N a t i o n a l O l d M a n C l u b. Wow. Maybe you’re on to something

emobaria:

how convenient that my dog doesn’t answer me when I ask if he’s a communist….

homoboyfriend:

outofcontexttbc:

arterialtrees:

-Laurie Penny, Unspeakable Things

goldhornsandblackwool:

goldhornsandblackwool:

REBLOG

Re-reblog with some extra notes because a lot of people are just like ‘we’re all fucked/we’re gonna die’.

Listen, not all food is equally as contaminable. Some small notes are stay away from delicate greens because they grow on thre ground where the poop is but cannot stand up to rigorous washing OR cooking, which is why stuff like romaine lettuce and baby spinach is a problem.

All other veggies can and should be thoroughly washed, and if you eat a lot of raw veg and want to be safe- cook it. People have shit on cooking food lately with all the raw vegan hype but guess why we humans started to do it? Two main reasons, one is increased nutrient absorption, the other is you don’t get the shits and die as often from cooked food.

Also, meat is not your friend right now. If you are used to eating meat, I would avoid it and switch to eggs, which are sealed and even if the outsides came from a chicken’s ass, the inside is safe. Fish also tends to be cleaner and is always less at risk of pathogens than farm meat but again, be careful.

This is survivable, if it wasn’t there’d be no point to warning you. Y'all will not survive what’s coming if you see every bit of news as proof of your doom.

Forewarned is forearmed. Be safe, be sharp, be helpful.